Lysol wipes instead of baby wipes?

So my new babysitter, god love her, is a bit green.  She's only 17 for crying out loud.  But oy what a spectacle to come home to this afternoon!  Baby S is quite the magician you see, managing to turn one poop into three ruined outfits, one ruined sheet, one ruined crib sheet saver, one entire roll of paper towels in the trash, and a large quantity of dirty Lysol wipes in the diaper genie that I can only imagine were used in lieu of baby wipes, which I see ran out!  So, I'm grateful for, improvising and creative problem-solving in teenaged babysitters!  Honestly, I would absolutely never have even offered to babysit a 9 month old for even one-hour when I was 17, so I really can't diss.  It's pretty funny actually.  The image of the canister of Lysol on the changing table is one I'll not soon forget.  Well, I probably will, which is why I'm so glad to be blogging.  Shit like that is worth a couple chuckles and isn't that something to be grateful for too?  Hey, if you can get a chuckle or two out of your hectic, insane, 95 degree day with 95% humidity while working outdoors, then that is a day well spent right?

But coming home to a happy, healthy, and safe baby is worth a roll of paper towels and three shittified onesies I think.  And that, I am grateful for!

I'm also grateful she is finally napping for gods sake.  It only took an hour and 18 minutes for her to fall asleep and now, I guess she'll be sleeping until dinner.  Great?  Hmmm.  We are starting "table foods" now that she is 9 mos.  I have no idea what that actually means.  Table foods means food from your table.  Well, what if you don't have a table, what if you don't eat at a table, or eat meals really.  What if you cook, like, once a week, what does table food mean then?  I have to say, I am dreading when S really starts to eat real food.  So I'm going to have to cook, in some way or another, every single day, three times a day?  How do moms do that?   I mean I guess many moms just don't.  Mine certainly didn't.  But that is another story for another day, or another blog entirely, one that I'm not going to write!  Promise!  And then, there's the whole debate of, Baby so and so eats what we all eat, just in smaller pieces.  Again, does this mean I am going to have to cook every day?  And if I do, am I going to have to eat dinner at like, 5:15 because that's when so and so goes to bed?  If we don't eat as a family, am I dooming my child(ren) to a lifetime of food issues, unhealthy eating habits, and the like?  Having had my own food issues, that is not a mistake I want to see manifesting in my own child.  But I understand how important it is that you kids see you eating healthy food, in a healthful manner.  I suppose like everything else, things fall into place and you end up doing what works for you.  But I really would like some suggestions on healthy proteins that can be made easily.  I mean easily I don't mean 30 minutes of preparation and another 30 of cooking.  Full-time working moms out there holler atcha girl!

Ok S is up, and screaming in her crib.  It is 4:25.  That was 8 full minutes of quiet.  That's something right?  Maybe she'll fall back asleep (!??!?!).  Yes I am a terrible mother, lazy, blah blah.  I definitely won't win any parenting awards, lets just say that.  All I can do is love her as much as I can, which I do so much my heart breaks when I think about her, and try to do the best I know how.  I am not an expert, and I don't portend to have any great knack or talent for this, or anything else really.  I am no saint, god knows, I am not particularly skilled or blessed with anything in particular.  I am a very good vacuumer, I read faster than anyone I know, I am an exceptional listener and very good at empathizing.  I am not a good athlete nor do I care, not interested in sports and even less so now than I used to be, before husband ruined all sports for me due to constant ESPN and sportstalk.  I am a pretty terrible driver, not very good at keeping in touch, an awful baker due to a)lack of direction-following and b)always trying to make things healthier even when I know it will ruin the outcome- why do I do that?  Baked goods are inherently un-healthy, get over it!  I am not very affectionate, never have been, to husband's dissatisfaction (kind of?) and can have a very weak hug.  But hugging, don't get me started.  Why do we always have to hug?  Why do I have to hug (and kiss even!) friends and acquaintances I see regularly?  What is the point?  It's often a weak hug from both ends, not like Chaim Schmeilik is giving me this big bear hug and I'm a dead fish barely returning the effort.  Men most of the time initiate, why?  I don't want a hug.  I doubt they really want one either.  What is the deal with hugging?  So yeah, I am a crappy hugger.  I am not particularly crafty, or creative, or inventive.  Honestly, I can be quite lazy.  Sitting in bed watching HGTV reruns and the same episode of Barefoot Contessa for the fifth time does not sound all that unappealing.  Baby S has been crying in her crib for 9 minutes now and here I sit.  See?  Terrible mother.  Just kidding- kind of.

It feels good to say admit all that.  It feels good to get it out.  I guess perhaps it also makes me a bad person to say, that I don't really give a shit!  I'm not perfect, not even close, I have a zillion flaws, and I kind of really don't give a shit, at all.  Is that laziness, or is that acceptance?  Let's call it acceptance, sounds fancier and more enlightened, which of course I am.

So I'd like to add that to the list.  I am grateful for laziness/acceptance.  I am grateful that I am NOT perfect and that I DON'T care.  Otherwise, what an annoying person I would be.  I do try to make small improvements and grow a little bit everyday.  Whether or not I actually am improving and growing is another subject.

Ok, Baby S is choking from crying, better go!  Aren't I the best mom ever?