Pizza Kale Chips

Kale chips are a fun, easy, delish way to shovel in lots and lots of veggies.  I like the plain old EVOO and salt kind as much as the next guy, but when I recently saw a recipe for pizza kale chips, I knew I had to try them out.

Here's the thing about kale chips though.  It bugs me that most recipes call for large quantities of cashews.  I eat enough nuts throughout the week, I don't want to drown my veggies in them too.  I get that the creaminess is needed for that cheesy coating that we all love, but seriously, I just don't need MORE nuts in my diet, trust me!  I get enough as it is.

So I decided to try the recipe without cashews.  It works great.  I imagine even better if you had a proper dehydrator.  But no matter, you can have nut-free pizza kale chips any time you like.

Pizza Kale Chips
1 bag washed/chopped kale, from Trader Joe's for instance
1 6 oz. can organic tomato paste
1 tbsp oregano
1 tsp minced garlic
1 tsp kosher salt
2 tbsp nutritional yeast
1/4 cup EVOO

In a mixing bowl, combine your paste and seasonings and EVOO.  Dump your kale onto a baking sheet, and then dollop the pizza sauce onto the kale by the spoonful.  Using your hands, work the sauce into the kale, making sure to coat all the leaves evenly.  Bake at 400 until crisp.  This will depend on how much you have, how big your baking sheet, etc.  Took me about 20 minutes.  These will taste even better the next day!

In other news, I decided to get a juicer.  I am primarily a 2 meal a day kinda gal, and I admit it can be tough to get in enough veggies in two meals.  Plus, I am hoping I can get my family to partake too, although I doubt either of them will drink straight veggies like I plan to.  But hopefully with a little apple or some berries thrown in food good measure, I can get everyone on board.

I researched juicers for about a week.  It was clear to me in the end that the best kind was probably the Omega J8006.  But for about $250 or so, kind of a steep entry point for someone that doesn't even know if they'll like the stuff.  Finally, I settled on a clearance juicer from BBB, and I figure, I'll learn on it and see if it's something I even want to do on a regular basis.  If it is, I will upgrade to a nicer one, and if not, it wasn't too big of an investment.

I had my first juice experience today, and it wasn't bad!  Actually, wayyyy sweeter than I was expecting.  I used too many tomatoes and too many carrots, because I was running low on veggies.  But it was fun and clean up wasn't too terrible.  Unfortunately S was not a fan, and spilled more than she drank.  Ahh well.

I also tried my hand at some stevia sweetened chocolate truffles this week, in honor of Valentines Day. Surprisingly, using nunaturals liquid (alcohol free) stevia produces a really decent flavor.  I am just as shocked as you are!  They are in the freezer right no, firming up for later.

I hope you all had a great vday and enjoyed no matter how it was spent!  Hallmark holiday or not, we could all use a little more LOVE in our lives amirite?

XoXoGFG

Paleo Breadsticks and Homemade Pizza Sauce

By now we've all made cauliflower pizza.  And if you are one of the last people on earth who hasn't, hello! What are you waiting for???  But for the paleo folk out there who don't do cheese, but still want the pizza like texture/flavors, and my fave, pizza sauce, here is a great substitute.

Paleo Breadsticks
1 small head of cauliflower
2 eggs
3 teaspoon dried oregano
1 1/2 teaspoon dried basil
2 teaspoons onion powder
1 tsp minced garlic
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes (optional)
salt and pepper

In your cuisinart, pulse your cauliflower until it's riced and transfer to microwaveable bowl.  Microwave 9 minutes, stirring halfway through, to reduce the moisture.  Refrigerate for an hour or so.  When you are ready to make the breadsticks, preheat your oven to 400 and line a baking sheet with parchment.  Mix your cauli with your eggs and seasonings and stir well.  Spread mixture out onto parchment lined sheet and use a spatula to make a nice uniform layer, about 1/6th of an inch thick.  (like that? 1/4 is too much, 1/8 too thin) and bake until it is just starting to brown on top.  At that point, remove them, cut them into strips carefully and spread them out on the pan, and put back in the oven until they are browned but not burnt.  Serve with some EVOO on top and some homemade pizza sauce!

No Cook Homemade Pizza Sauce- No sugar
1 6 oz can organic tomato paste
one can-ful water
1 tsp minced garlic
1 teaspoon onion powder
3-4 teaspoon oregano
2 teaspoon dried basil
salt and pepper to taste

Mix everything together, adjust seasonings to taste, refrigerate an hour-ish before serving for best results.

Zucchini Crust Pizza

It is so awesome to eat pizza.  So. Freaking. Awesome.  

It's also awesome to eat zucchini.

It's awesome when my husband and baby hippo eat zucchini, and other green veg, not only without hesitation, but excitedly!

It's awesome when you can make a formerly shitty food good for you.

It's awesome when you don't miss grainy, starchy, carby crap.

It's awesome to eat pizza.

The end.

Zucchini Crust Awesome Pizza 

(serves 2 adults and 1 baby hippo)

-4 zuch's, pulsed in the cuisi until it's very finely chopped

-1 tsp minced garlic

-2 eggs, beaten

-1 tsp oregano

-1 tsp kosher salt

-bag of mozzarella 

-half can of your preferred pizza sauce

-toppings of choice (pictured- a fried egg with pizza sauce over it, and roasted red peppers)

Preheat your oven to 425.  Drain your zuch for at least 20 minutes and get as much water out as possible.  Then microwave it for 10 minutes, stirring halfway through.  Let it cool for a few minutes, then mix in two beaten eggs, garlic, oregano, and salt.  On greased baking sheet (I did use parchment paper this time and did not have a problem) spread crust mixture out evenly using the back of your spoon.  Each individual pizza was about three teaspoons and I got 6 total.  You might get more or less depending on how big your zucchini, how much water, etc.  I made mine pretty thin because I didn't want them to be soggy or underdone.  Bake until the edges are brown, even verging on a little burnt.  Bake time will differ but mine took about 30 min (my oven is weird though!)

Remove from oven and spread your sauce and cheese on top, and whatever other toppings you want.  Your toppings will need to be fully cooked first because when you stick it back in the oven, you are just melting the cheese.  That takes all of three minutes and you're dunzo!

Cauli pizza is great too- but some people aren't so into cauli.  Plus- we tend to eat it a lot and it's nice to switch things up.  However, zucchini has a lot more water and is nowhere near as starchy- so cauliflower will yield a slightly firmer, thicker crust.  Whatever.  This pizza is awesome.

Grain-Free PIZZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is there anyone alive that doesn't like pizza?  I'll admit, even before adopting the GFG-lifestyle, I stayed away from pizza because it was just one of those off-limit foods to me, but oh man, I sure liked it!  I'm a Chicagoan so a nice slice of deep dish pizza will always make me salivate.  Lou Malnati's, you know what's going on. 
So, ok, my pizza above may not look like the aforementioned Lou's pizza, but I'm telling you, it is a very very good approximation of some seriously good thin-crust.  MAKE THIS PIZZA ASAP PEOPLE!  It is crazy good.  There are lots of grain-free pizza crust recipes floating around the interwebs.  And plenty more of gluten-free crusts.  You need to buy several different flours, combine them in the right amounts, knead them, add this and that, proof 'em, etc.  Not this recipe.  Even better, this is a great way to "hide" veggies.  The crust is cauliflower.  No kidding.  It does NOT taste like cauliflower either, yummy as it that little white veggie is, if you didn't make it yourself you would have no clue it was cauli.  Try it.  You will LOVE it.  Promise!  And google this recipe, you'll see there are quite a few variations.  I think my technique proved superior, but the ingredients are all roughly the same.

Grain-Free Cauliflower Crust Pizza (Gluten-Free, of course!)

1 head of cauliflower
2 tsp oregano
2 tsp salt
2 eggs
1 tsp minced garlic
1 can of pizza sauce, like Muir Glen organic
1 bag of part-skim mozzarella
toppings, like turkey pepperoni, sauteed mushrooms or spinach, tomatoes, olives, green peppers, whatever!!!

Preheat your oven to 450 and spray two cookie sheets with non-stick spray.  Cut your head of cauli into florets and throw them in the cuisi.  You will probably need to do this in two batches.  Pulse the cauli until it's at the "rice" stage and transfer to a glass microwave safe bowl.  Microwave the cauliflower for 10 minutes or so.  You want to cook out some of the moisture and get the little grains a bit drier so your crust isn't watery.  Don't skip this step!  You'll probably have about three cups of cauli rice at this point.  If you use all three cups of it, you can probably make 9 individual pizzas, 2 per person.  Depending on how many you're feeding, make all 9, or save the third cup for another time.  I sauteed one cup and will give it to S for lunch.

With the other two cups, I added a tsp of  garlic, 2 tsp salt, 2 tsp oregano, and 2 eggs.  Mix thoroughly.  Using a large spoon, drop even amounts of the wet crust onto your cookie sheet.  (Warning- do not used a parchment-lined baking sheet unless you want to start a fire in your oven... yeah...)  This made 6 individual pizzas for me, three per sheet.  Spread the crust out evenly using the spoon and try to get it as flat and thin as you can.  Bake the crusts for 25-30 minutes until the edges are crisp and the whole pizza is brown.  Other recipes tell you to make one big pizza, which leaves the centers underdone and soggy.  This technique works muuuch better.  While the crusts are baking, sautee up some veggies or chicken or whatever toppings you want.  Once the crusts are nice and browned, pull 'em out and set the oven to broil.  Spread pizza sauce onto the crusts, then top with about a 1/4 cup of cheese, and your preferred toppings.  Get creative and try funky combinations, like goat cheese and thyme, feta and red peppers!  Or stick to the basics like pepperoni.  Put your baking sheets into the broiling hot oven for just a couple minutes, until the cheese is melted.  That's it!

Don't worry if your edges are burnt, that's ok!  It'll be great, and that way you know the bottom is well-cooked.  You CAN pick these up and eat them like a regular old slice of pizza!  If you choose to make one large crust, I don't think you can. 

I promise, these do not taste like cauliflower.  It tastes like pizza.  Maybe a floppy pizza, but a damn good floppy pizza.  And instead of a bunch of starchy gluten filled carbs, you're eating veggies!  Yeah buddy!  Great recipe for those tough to please toddlers.

I have to say, this is one of those recipes that has really gotten me excited!  Every once in awhile you make something that just totally blows you away, and this is one of those recipes.  Please give it a try!  You'll be so glad you did!

Totally on a different subject, last month I mentioned I was going through a rough patch.  The last six weeks have been pretty trying.  I don't want to bore anyone with the deets, it was work related, and I'll leave it at that.  But I am so so so so so pleased that things are really looking up.  I am so grateful to this goofy little blog of mine for giving me purpose, giving me a positive outlet, and giving me something to do that was rewarding for me and always makes me smile.  Some days, when everything is going wrong and you feel like a failure, at the very least I know I can get in the kitchen and create something healthy, wholesome, and GFG-approved that I can be proud of.  If nothing else, I know that is one thing I am good at.  Sharing that with whoever is out there is a privilege and a joy.

In my little fantasy-world I've concocted, I have a small nutritional empire comprised of a brick-and-mortar store selling all manner of goods for all of us on special diets, whether its a diabetic diet, grain-free, primal/paleo, gluten-free, SCD, GAPS, anti-candida, etc, where you can get quality ingredients at a fair price (can you believe what they charge for "gluten" free products in that sad little gluten-free aisle at the grocery-store?  UGH!) maybe some cooking classes for the newly initiated, and nutritional counseling from holistic nutritionists, that can shop with you, cook with you, clean out your pantry if needed, and just work with you on your new lifestyle.  Maybe this blog is the first step in my little fantasy, maybe not, but it's fun to dream, right?

Do you have any business ideas you'd love to make happen?  However goofy our outlandish?  What are they?  Any tips for a risk-averse wannabe entrepreneur like myself?

Thanks for reading, and thanks for eating!  XoXoGFG