Paleo Chocolate Swirl Banana Cake

My husband's grandmother just celebrated her 89th birthday, so we decided to have a special celebration at our house with the kiddos.  It's not everyday you turn 89!  So we wanted to have a little cake and sing to make it extra special.

This recipe is wonderful to make with little helpers.  Lots of opportunities for measuring, stirring and mixing.

I also added a super easy glaze which I will detail below.  Since I will not be eating this cake I used milk to make the glaze, but you could just as easily use almond or coconut milk for a dairy free glaze.

With a few candles you've got a lovely cake!

Paleo Chocolate Swirl Banana Cake
3 cups almond flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
pinch salt
1 tsp cinnamon
2 eggs
3 bananas, mashed
2 tbs oil, whatever oil you prefer to bake with (examples would be walnut, coconut, even olive)
1/4 cup maple syrup
1 tsp apple cider vinegar (ACV)
1 tsp vanilla extract

Chocolate Swirl (optional)
1 tbs cocoa powder
splash vanilla extract
1 tbs maply syrup
1/2 tbs oil
splash of your preferred milk, if needed

Glaze (optional and not paleo)
1/4 cup powdered sugar
splash vanilla or maple extract
couple tablespoons milk of choice, starting with just one, and add more until reaching desired consistency

Directions:
Preheat your oven to 350.  I prefer to line a 9" square pan with parchment, but grease yours if you don't like or don't have parchment.

Mash your bananas and mix in your eggs, oil, syrup, ACV, and extract.  In a separate bowl, mix your almond flour, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt, and then add wet to dry and incorporate.

Pour your batter into your baking pan.  In a small bowl, mix up your chocolate swirl.  Pour it over top of the batter, and with a sharp knife or toothpick, swirl the chocolate mixture around until it's well distributed.  I had some additional leftover that I just drizzled on the top.  Bake at 350 until a toothpick comes out cleanly- start checking at 20 min.

When the cake has cooled you can pour your glaze on top, and use the back of a spoon to distribute.

While this cake is grain and dairy free, it does have almond flour so is certainly not suitable for those with nut allergies.  There are scores of coconut flour banana bread recipes available however.  I have one on this blog, but it uses sugar-free sweeteners, which I no longer use or approve of.  It would be easy enough to sub out the SF sweetener for maple syrup or whatever, but I would rather put up a new recipe than link to that one.

When it comes to baking, at this point my personal stance is that there are really no baked-goods that I should be eating, as I no longer eat artificially sweetened things, and cannot really tolerate the carbs or sugar anyways.  Whatever I bake is going to be for friends and family, and I want to be sure everything I use is natural, free of pesticides or chemicals, and as healthful as possible.

Lemon Thyme Roasted Brussel Sprouts

Brussel sprouts are bomb.com IMO.  They are super easy to roast, a total crowd pleaser, and so damn good for ya.  It's always nice to bring a brussel sprout dish rather than your customary green bean side dish I think.  We have roasted brussel sprouts pretty regularly in our household, so when making them for company it's nice to give your usual recipe a little boost.

This recipe definitely accomplishes that.  With a fresh, bright flavor and a bit of a tang, these are for sure not your average sprouts.  With just a few extra steps, you'll have an updated brussel sprout dish in no time.

Lemon Thyme Roasted Brussel Sprouts
Bag (or two) or Brussel sprouts, quartered
Juice from half a lemon
2 tbs olive oil
1/4 tbs dried thyme
Salt and pepper to taste


Toss all ingredients well on a parchment lined baking sheet.  Bake at 425 for about 20 minutes, or until browned.  These are also good cold the following day, and are really excellent tossed into a salad if you have leftovers.

Paleo Cauliflower Broccoli Mash and Ground Beef Bowl

Funny lookin' bowl of food eh?  Yep, sure is.  And you know what- who cares?  It's tasty, it's easy, it's chock full of veggies, and it is FAST!

I was rummaging through the freezer yesterday, trying to locate my frozen bags of cauli, when I

thought- ugh how boring, cauli mash again.  Why not switch things up a little and make a cauli/broccoli mash?  It will be bright green and a totally new flavor.  Sounds fun right?

This is not even a recipe.  You throw a bag of steam-in-the-bag cauliflower and a bag of broccoli in the microwave and then get your stick-blender and mash it all up in a bowl with butter and salt and you're dunzo.  Cook your ground meat and spoon it over the top and you are good to go!  Obviously this side would be totally appropriate for whatever protein you have on hand, but I thought this sounded appealing and it was already defrosted so there you go.

The best part is that leftovers are perfect for my twin one-year-olds.  This is a great meal for little eaters as it is soft and easy to chew.

So next time you are considering cauli mash for the hundredth time, swap in some broccoli for some green mash that will give you and your kiddos the giggles.

Paleo Pumpkin Spice Bread- Grain-Free, Nut-Free, Dairy-Free

#Pumpkinspice is a thing.  It's a stupid thing if you ask me, since really all it means is that something has some combination of cinnamon, ginger, and clove in it, but it's a thing all the same.  Don't even get me started on the pumpkin spice lattes at starbucks.  Oh my god, none of the ingredients in that are even food!  Blech!

Anyways- if you are wanting a quick and easy recipe for pumpkin bread that is entirely nut and dairy free, this is your ticket.

I highly suggest you give my maple syrup/molasses combo a try to get an especially warm and spicy flavor, but if you don't like molasses or just don't have any, using all maple syrup will still be delish.

You could also bake this in a muffin tin for pumpkin spice muffins.  Or frost it for a cake.  Or bake it in a square pan for bars.  Lots and lots and possibilities.

Pumpkin Spice Bread
1/2 cup plus 2 tbs coconut flour
1 tsp baking soda
pinch salt
1 tsp cinnamon
3/4 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp clove (optional, I chose not to use it because I hate cloves, but customarily that is part of "pumpkin spice")
5 eggs
3/4 cup pumpkin puree
1/4 cup plus 2 tbs maple syrup
1/4 cup molasses
1 tsp ACV
1 tsp vanilla extract

Preheat your oven to 350.  Mix all your wet ingredients, and then add your dry and incorporate well.  Pour into a greased, or parchment lined loaf pan and bake until firm, 25 to 45 min depending on your oven.  You will notice this has a very dark appearance due to the molasses.  That is fine!

Paleo Cucumber and Bell Pepper Salad

I am a big proponent of salads.  Breakfast salad, lunch salad, dinner salad, salad as a side dish, main dish, appetizer, whatever.  They are great.  Probably what I eat for dinner most nights of the week.

But a salad doesn't always have to be your standard, run of the mill lettuce and tomato and carrot boring combo.  In fact, I eschew lettuce most of the time altogether.

A great example is this incredibly simple but colorful cucumber and bell pepper salad.  It's exactly what it sounds like- except this one has grape tomatoes as well.

With some EVOO and ACV you are good to go.

This is a huge quantity, as I had intended to bring it to a BBQ.  This would serve 5-6 easily.  Adapt as you will!

Some great additions to this would be:
Basil
Feta cheese, if you are primal
Pine Nuts
Greek Olives
Celery
Artichokes
Green onions


Here is the quick recipe- so next time you are sick of your usual salads, or want a fresh, raw and colorful side to bring to a potluck, try this out!

Paleo Cucumber and Bell Pepper Salad
2 organic english hothouse cucumbers, cut into bite sized chunks
1 green pepper
1 orange pepper
1 red pepper
1 cup grape tomatoes, halved
3 tbs EVOO
1 1/2 tbs Bragg's ACV
Salt and pepper to taste

This salad keeps pretty well.  The following day in the fridge it is still crisp and not soggy.

Paleo Faux-tato Salad

I cannot take credit for this recipe whatsoever, but holy sh*t it is fantastic!  If you are a paleo peep like myself you must try this out for your next shindig or BBQ.  Super easy, you can throw this together in just minutes.  If you miss traditional white potato salad, then please give this a try.

Thanks to the fabulous CupcakesOMG for coming up with this gem!

That is all folks- just a friendly PSA to make this shizz as Labor Day weekend approaches.  You won't be disappointed!

Paleo Broccoli Cucumber Salad

No photo.  Boo!  Bad GFG.  I made this quick salad for a friend's bbq- not really expecting too much of it.  Quite honestly, I used what I had in the house, which was just a handful of ingredients, but it turned out awesome!  This is a super easy and yummy salad for a cook out or bbq, or just a side for any old dinner.  I saw all kinds of recipes with cucumber and broccoli but most called for nuts, dried fruit, or cheese, and I wanted to make something I could eat, just in case there wasn't anything else I could have at the bbq.  I think that is such an important tip for staying grain/dairy/sugar/nut free when going to social events.  Bring something that you can eat so if there is absolutely nothing else, you know you have one thing to eat!

Broccoli Cucumber Salad
1 (organic) hot house cucumber
1 bag of broccoli, or a medium sized head of broccoli, NOT FROZEN
half a yellow onion, chopped
1/4 cup mayo, homemade or your fave brand
1.5 T Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar
Salt and pepper

Cut your broccoli into bite sized pieces and then toss in your chopped cucumber and chopped onion.  Add mayo, ACV, salt and pepper and refrigerate for a few hours.  I would recommend at least three or four.

Make Your Own Paleo Baby Food

The title of this post makes me sound crunchier than I am.  I never intended to be a "make your own baby food" type of gal.  It seemed like such a precious thing to do that uber-controlling parents did. But, my assumptions have been debunked.

I am now a baby-food-making convert.  The reason is simple.  It's easier.

I have two little mouths to feed.  I want to give them organic, natural foods.  Purchasing the quantity of organic baby food that I would need to feed two babies for a whole week would cost a fortune, and I'd have to go to multiple stores to find it.  What I do is way cheaper and way easier and creates far less waste.  It all started innocently enough.  I hemmed and hawed over what their first food should be for weeks, finally settling on avocados.  Mushy, full of healthy fats and nutrients, hermetically sealed in their own packaging, it seemed perfect.  I didn't have to steam or puree anything- just mush with the back of a spoon et voila!

So, we started with avocados.  Laziness meant that we stuck with avocados for three weeks before trying anything else.  In this time the babies went from sort of tolerating it, to tolerating it moderately, to enjoying it!  By this time both they, and I, were ready to try something else.  At that point I had decided a couple new foods to try.  First was egg yolks.  I simply boil a few eggs for three or four minutes and after the yolk has cooled a bit they slurp it up.  Not much chewing is involved so it is a relatively painless process and a great way to guarantee a lot of nutrition in short order.  The babies have really enjoyed yolks and I like to take the extra time to make it for them on my days off.

Next up was sweet potatoes.  I buy a big bag of organic sweet potatoes and steam about half of them. 35 minutes in the steamer and they are ready to be peeled.  My handy stick blender makes mush of them in no time.  Add a little formula or water to thin out the consistency and you are good to go.  I store mine in little snack containers that hold probably four ounces or so.  I don't make enough to need to freeze it- generally we have been running out every four days or so.  When that happens I go back to my trusty avocados if I don't have time to make something else until the weekend.

After they had mastered the consistency of the sweet potato I decided to let them try bananas.  This was their first fruit and naturally they quite like the sweeter taste!  Again, no steaming or pureeing necessary- just some mushing with a spoon and you're good to go.

But I wanted another veggie and something that I could be sure would be palatable.  I am sure there are plenty of moms out there pureeing kale and spinach for their babies but it is more important to me to make them food I know they are going to like and enjoy- and instill in them a healthy desire and appetite for real food, rather than force something down their throats.  So I decided on organic carrots. Do you know how much two pounds of organic carrots costs?  $1.89.  Do you know how much one pouch of organic carrots costs at Target?  $1.63.  You do the math.  All two pounds of it steamed in about 20 minutes, and only took a few minutes more to puree, and now I have six containers of carrots in the fridge, meals for the week!

The last food we have introduced thus far is organic applesauce.  I just got a big jar of it and have been adding it to different foods here and there.  I like how watery it is and its amazing ability to make practically anything palatable.  Applesauce was really the sole sweetener I used for Sara until she was two years old!  I added it to oatmeal, plain yogurt, even cottage cheese, rather than use sugar or another sweetener.  It's versatile, healthy, and cheap!  Can't complain about that!

We will probably work on carrots for a couple weeks and then add in something else.  The reality is that I will not be steaming and pureeing multiple vegetables at a time and doling them out into separate containers, or creating little custom combinations.  And frankly, I would rather move on to soft table foods sooner rather than later.  Poached chicken, soft scrambled eggs, some soft cauliflower, etc.  When there is one person feeding three people you tend to prefer not spoon feeding two of them, right?

Do you make your own baby food? Any suggestions for me?  I have to say, I approached this with complete and total nonchalance.  Not because I'm that cool, but because I devoted basically zero thought to it.  I was terrified what my grocery bill would be buying jarred baby food and frankly, did not have a high opinion of it from my experiences feeding sari.  Expensive, crappy tasting, and makes tons of garbage.  Um, no thanks?  So I started with avocado and assumed I'd figure out the rest later.  What started out as me just wanting to give them organic baby food turned into me becoming a weirdo crunchy baby food maker.  And you know what?  I think I'll stick with it.

Seafood Soup

This seafood blend is a wonderful product.  Shrimp, calamari, and little baby scallops.  Throw in some fish, or some extra shrimp, and you have a ton of protein for an easy, quick meal.  I've made this seafood soup twice in two weeks now, and served it once to company.  It is a yummy and filling soup for any seafood lover.

Seafood Soup
1 32. oz container fish stock
1 can light coconut milk (or regular)
2 cans water
1 onion, diced
3 celery stalks, diced
3 large carrots, diced
2 tsp minced garlic
1/4 cup fish sauce, like red boat
salt and pepper to taste
1 bag trader joe's seafood blend
1 bag shrimp, chopped fish, langostinos, etc
1 bag frozen cauliflower florets

Saute your veggies in some EVOO until translucent, 5-7 minutes, in a large stock pot.  Pour in your seafood stock, coconut milk, and water, and add your garlic and salt and pepper.  Bring to a simmer.  Add your fish sauce, and taste.  Add more, or more seasoning, to taste.  When you've gotten it right, add in your frozen seafood and cauli.  Bring back up to a simmer and you're done!  This tastes great right away, and really good after a day in the fridge.   Enjoy!

Paleo Banana Bread, Nut-Free, Dairy-Free, Sugar-Free, Grain and Gluten-Free

I am kind of weirded that I don't have a banana bread recipe up on the blog.  Banana bread used to be a staple chez GFG.  I would make it a few times a month, with regular SAD ingredients, or sometimes half whole wheat flour and half AP, or even a tablespoon or two of flax meal and think I was really badass.  Well, times have changed, and there's a new banana bread recipe in town y'all.  This recipe is so stinkin' easy and so stinkin' good.  It does not have a weird mealy coconut texture like so many coconut flour baked good can have.  It is delicious, and sugar free to boot.  It is sweetened with the bannas themselves, and stevia.  Think stevia isn't paleo?  It is.  Check out Mark's Daily Apple if you don't believe me.  And it is safe for diabetics.  I have tested it on myself, and I have pretty much no insulin.  So there.  This would make a great dessert, but frankly, I'll be giving it to S for breakfast, as it is perfectly healthy.

Paleo Banana Bread
2 medium bananas, mashed
4 eggs, beaten
1/4 cup walnut or coconut oil
3/4 cup nutmilk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp butter extract (optional)
4 droppers nunaturals alcohol free liquid stevia
1 tbsp cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup coconut flour

Mash your bananas in a large bowl, add in your eggs, extracts, stevia, milk, and oil, stir well.  Add in your dry ingredients (try to get coconut flour lumps out prior to adding) and combine well.  I lined my loaf pan with parchment, but you can grease yours if you prefer.  Pour your batter into the loaf pan and drop on the countertop a few times to get out any air bubbles.  Sprinkle the top with cinnamon if you like!  When a knife comes out just clean, take it out.  It will firm up a bit as it cools.  Mine was still pretty squishy in the center.  Bake at 350 for 45 minutes.  This is now your go-to, easy peasy, one bowl banana bread recipe.  Enjoy!

Pizza Kale Chips

Kale chips are a fun, easy, delish way to shovel in lots and lots of veggies.  I like the plain old EVOO and salt kind as much as the next guy, but when I recently saw a recipe for pizza kale chips, I knew I had to try them out.

Here's the thing about kale chips though.  It bugs me that most recipes call for large quantities of cashews.  I eat enough nuts throughout the week, I don't want to drown my veggies in them too.  I get that the creaminess is needed for that cheesy coating that we all love, but seriously, I just don't need MORE nuts in my diet, trust me!  I get enough as it is.

So I decided to try the recipe without cashews.  It works great.  I imagine even better if you had a proper dehydrator.  But no matter, you can have nut-free pizza kale chips any time you like.

Pizza Kale Chips
1 bag washed/chopped kale, from Trader Joe's for instance
1 6 oz. can organic tomato paste
1 tbsp oregano
1 tsp minced garlic
1 tsp kosher salt
2 tbsp nutritional yeast
1/4 cup EVOO

In a mixing bowl, combine your paste and seasonings and EVOO.  Dump your kale onto a baking sheet, and then dollop the pizza sauce onto the kale by the spoonful.  Using your hands, work the sauce into the kale, making sure to coat all the leaves evenly.  Bake at 400 until crisp.  This will depend on how much you have, how big your baking sheet, etc.  Took me about 20 minutes.  These will taste even better the next day!

In other news, I decided to get a juicer.  I am primarily a 2 meal a day kinda gal, and I admit it can be tough to get in enough veggies in two meals.  Plus, I am hoping I can get my family to partake too, although I doubt either of them will drink straight veggies like I plan to.  But hopefully with a little apple or some berries thrown in food good measure, I can get everyone on board.

I researched juicers for about a week.  It was clear to me in the end that the best kind was probably the Omega J8006.  But for about $250 or so, kind of a steep entry point for someone that doesn't even know if they'll like the stuff.  Finally, I settled on a clearance juicer from BBB, and I figure, I'll learn on it and see if it's something I even want to do on a regular basis.  If it is, I will upgrade to a nicer one, and if not, it wasn't too big of an investment.

I had my first juice experience today, and it wasn't bad!  Actually, wayyyy sweeter than I was expecting.  I used too many tomatoes and too many carrots, because I was running low on veggies.  But it was fun and clean up wasn't too terrible.  Unfortunately S was not a fan, and spilled more than she drank.  Ahh well.

I also tried my hand at some stevia sweetened chocolate truffles this week, in honor of Valentines Day. Surprisingly, using nunaturals liquid (alcohol free) stevia produces a really decent flavor.  I am just as shocked as you are!  They are in the freezer right no, firming up for later.

I hope you all had a great vday and enjoyed no matter how it was spent!  Hallmark holiday or not, we could all use a little more LOVE in our lives amirite?

XoXoGFG

Paleo Sauteed Chicken Hearts

Hmmm...  Ok, so this pic is truly one of the most unappetizing pics I have probably ever posted.  Sorry about that.  The arugula looks tasty at least, right?  Yikes.

Anywho.  Chicken hearts are a fantastic source of nutrients.  They are HEARTS after all!  Containing very high quantities of the following nutrients, you really can't argue with 'em:

• iron
• niacin
• pantothenic acid
• phosphorus
• riboflavin
• vitamin B6
• vitamin B12
• zinc

And for those of you who aren't big fans of liver, hearts have a much milder flavor and are also way less chewy and dense.  I suspect broiling or grilling them would be amazeballs.

I picked up about 1 lb and three quarters of the stuff at Whole Paycheck for about $1.40.  Certainly enough for two people, with leftovers for the dog.  At such a low price point, may as well give it a shot right?  Preparation is a snap.

I know it sounds weird.  But when you eat a paleo, primal, or ancestral diet, focusing on getting lots of protein, you really have to branch out sometimes.  And I am not a big steak eater, so that basically means poultry, fish, seafood, and some pork occasionally.  Sh*t gets old eventually.  So what the heck?  Try something new.

Paleo Chicken Hearts
1.5-2 lbs chicken hearts
1 yellow onion
garlic powder
salt
pepper
EVOO, or ghee

Saute your yellow onion in EVOO until its translucent.  Season with salt and a bit of pepper.  Add in your chicken hearts, and season liberally with salt, pepper, and garlic powder.  Cook for about 7-9 minutes until hearts are completely cooked through.

Easy peasy folks.  You've got nothing to lose! Try it out!

Paleo Spicy Asian Cole Slaw

I dig coleslaw.  I dig asian flavors.  I really dig cabbage.  Cabbage is cheap.  Do you agree with these statements?  Good.  Then try this yummy asian slaw.  We had ours with some of nom nom paleo's delish damn fine chicken, second time i've made it in as many weeks.

As you may have noticed, I am really not much for measuring, especially in recipes like this.  I'd rather eyeball everything and taste as I go.  So this is not so much a recipe as it is guidelines.  But spiceyness is such a personal thing anyways!

Paleo Spicy Asian Coleslaw
half a bag shredded carrots (about 1 1/2 cups)
small-med head of cabbage (or use red if you like)
1 small red onion, chopped/diced
3 tbsp EVOO
salt and pepper
3 tbsp white wine vinegar
1 tbsp (or more!) sriracha.  There are paleo varieties out there, or you could make your own.  Again, nomnompaleo.com to the rescue.  I probably used more like 2 tbsp sriracha, but I really like spicy foods.
10 drops alcohol free liquid stevia- NuNaturals is best

In a small bowl, mix your wet ingredients.  Taste it!  Is it yum? Want it sweeter?  Spicier? Tangier?  Adjust accordingly.  Now is the time to do it, before adding to your slaw.  Pour over your chopped/shredded cabbage, onion, and carrots.  Season, and mix well.  Depending on the size of your cabbage you may need a bit more liquid.  Let this sit in the fridge for a few hours so the flavors can come together.  It is really good folks.

I know I haven't been awesome in the full disclosure department.  January has been.... interesting.  Honesty and truthiness aren't at the top of my list right now.  Hope that's cool.

How has your January been?  2013 treating you right so far?  Anyone doing any cleanses or detoxes worth sharing?  I myself am dying to do one of those 3 day veggie juice cleanses, but the juice can be quite carby, and no protein, so I'm not sure it's a good idea.  Thoughts?

Thanks GFGs.  Much love!

Crispy Paleo Pumpkin Seed and Almond Honey Cookies (Dairy free and egg free too)

Sometimes you just want to throw some ingredients in the food processor and make some cookies.  Minimal measuring, minimal ingredients, minimal bowls to clean.  Minimal.  It would be nice if life could be more minimal sometimes wouldn't it?  Well, with these cookies, you can start.

I've had a bag of salted pumpkin seeds in the pantry for awhile.  I snacked on them for a week or so and then got tired of them.  I'm more of a cashew kind of girl to be honest.   So into the food processor they went.  I've seen cookies made before with sunflower seeds, so why not pumpkin seeds? 

They came out great.  Thin and crispy, salty and sweet, the perfect snack or treat.

Try them!  Pumpkin seeds are much cheaper than nuts, and quite nutritive.

Crispy Paleo Pumpkin Seed and Almond Honey Cookies (Dairy and Egg Free)
1 cup pumpkin seeds
1/2 cup sliced and blanched almonds
1/2 cup unsweetened coconut flakes
3 1/2 tbsp raw honey
1 tsp vanilla
pinch of salt
3 1/2 tbsp walnut or coconut oil

Process your pumpkin seeds and almonds until you have a fine flour.  While the motor is running, pour in your honey, oil, vanilla, and pinch of salt.  Once the "dough" starts to form a ball, it's ready to be spooned onto a parchment lined cookie sheet.  This will take a minute or two, perhaps longer, depending on the speed of your machine. 

Use a tbsp to form little balls, and flatten well with your fingertips.  These cookies will not spread, so flatten them out pretty good.  Bake at 350 for about 5 minutes, until the edges brown.  These will cook super fast!  Watch them carefully!

I am baking more with honey, since I don't eat baked goods anyways, may as well spare S and MKG all my sugar free concoctions and just feed them, whole, real foods, like molasses and raw honey, and dates.  I am quite sure you could sub dates for the honey in this recipe, 5 should do it.  Did you know that per tbsp, molasses has about 60 calories, and is a great source of potassium, B6, and magnesium?  It also has 15 grams of carbs, which may make a not so great choice for diabetics, but if you don't have any problems with sugar, this is certainly a better choice.

Were I to make these for myself, I would probably opt for about 20-30 drops of NuNaturals Alcohol Free Liquid Stevia, a wonderful, non-bitter, non-aftertaste giving sweetener that I just adore.  It has such a clean flavor. 

Hope you're all having a pleasant week.  Believe it or not, it got into the mid 70's here in KC yesterday, breaking all kinds of records.  I spent the day inside the office so don't have any fun outdoorsy stories to tell, but the weather sure is nutty right now.  I love spring as much as the next guy, but I can't say it isn't a little disconcerting. 

XoXoGFG

Paleo Egg McMuffin! Grain and Gluten Free

The outcome of this experiment truly shocked me.  I cannot get over how this super lazy recipe came out!

Last night as I was browsing pinterest, I saw some paleo blogger put up a recipe for a grain free english muffin.  Her recipe called for 1/3 cup of almond flour, plus one tbsp of coconut flour.  I don't know about you, but the thought of ingesting 1/3 cup of almond flour just didn't sit well with me, and since I'd be making this for S, it just grossed me out entirely.  But what if I could make an english muffin in the microwave with just coconut flour?  Could it be done?

YES.  Yes it can folks.  I also microwave a beaten egg for some extra protein.  With a little smear of jam on the muffin, this little mcmuffin was a big hit with my little one.  This is so super easy, it's almost embarrassing to post.  But what a wonderful trick to have up your sleeve for a quick meal!  Throw some carrots on a plate and you've got lunch in like, 5 minutes.

Paleo Egg McMuffin
1 1/2 tbsp coconut  flour
1 egg
1 1/2 tbsp of milk, water, or nutmilk
pinch of salt
1/2 tsp honey

1 additional beaten egg
jam for spreading on the muffin, if desired
some oil, for oiling your glass/porcelain microwave safe bowls

In a microwave safe glass or porcelain bowl (like a ramekin), grease it lightly, and pour in your beaten egg.  Microwave your egg until fully cooked, about 90 seconds.  (depends on your microwave though, watch it carefully!)  In another bowl, mix together your coconut flour, egg, salt, honey, and milk.  Pour your batter into another greased ramekin and microwave for about 2 and a half minutes.  You want this to be cooked through and firm to the touch.  Add another 10 seconds or so if need be.  When fully cooked, slide it out of your ramekin and cut in half with a bread knife.  Toast in your toaster oven and then slather with jam, and top with your fluffy microwaved egg!  Crazy crazy.  S scarfed it down, which is miraculous because she will rarely eat an egg, or any protein other than bacon or cheese.  I think it was the jam that did it.

Did you ever eat mcmuffins growing up??  OMG I loved those nasty little things.  They were a very special treat on some weekends after we went to the orthodontist.  Gross right?  I know, awful.  But luckily, with these little guys, you can enjoy a mcmuffin once again.  Lots of protein, fiber, and very little carbs.  Did you know that 2 tbsp of coconut flour only has 62 calories?  And 6 grams of fiber?  Pretty wonderful stuff.  So if your diet will allow for a baked treat, please give this a try.

Enjoy GFGs! xoxo

Paleo Thai Crab Salad

How is everyone doing this fine January day?  The days short enough for ya?  Cold enough?  How's the $$$ situation?  Do you sometimes wake up (while it's still pitch dark no less) and do a little face palm and blurt out a big GAHHHH?  Yeah.  It's that time of the year folks.  May be time for a little attitude readjusting.

I know I am definitely guilty of doing the January-Poor-Me routine from time to time.  This year is no different.  So today, I think, in addition to a bright and summery tasting Paleo Thai Crab Salad recipe, it's time for a little 'tude reset.  Join me, won't you?

It's dark out.  It's cold out.
Yes.  We know.  It's January for f*cks sake.  But let's turn this frown upside down shall we?

• Dark and cold means lots of opportunities for sipping on nummy warm things.  Some organic decaf, chai tea, or homemade bone broth.  Curl up with your handy dandy e-reader and a steaming mug of tea or paleo hot chocolate, and all will be right in the world.  Or better yet, take a hot bath and light some candles!  Sounds delightful doesn't it?
• Augment your workouts to take advantage of the sunlight.  Does your schedule afford you any flexibility?  Can you workout in the later morning or afternoon?  If not, there are other ways to spice up your workouts.  Download some fresh new tracks, get spotify on your iphone, buy some fun new workout clothes, a cute new waterbottle, or even just a cute headband.  I know I enjoy my workouts more when I am wearing fun accessories!
• No Money Mo Problems.  Wait, that's not how it goes?  Mo money mo problems?  Whatever.  The same is true of the inverse.  There are about a zillion web sites now offering huge, crazy discounts on whatever you could possibly need.  Zulilly, and haute look are two of the sites I've recently begun browsing.  But if you truly are doing the no spend thing, or even partaking in #nospendmonth, then here are some suggestions for you:  1) Write every single thing you want down on a piece of paper to be evaluated in February.  Let's see how badly you really want that ironic monogrammed upcycled coffee cup sleeve with a smiling fox on it from Etsy after a few weeks.   If you are really and truly still dying for it, take the plunge in February.  Odds are most of the items you'll no longer want.  (Or maybe they'll be on sale by then!)  2) Take this time to do a little budget rejiggering.  What are you spending all your dough on?  Are you hoarding stuff unnecessarily?  Have a little addiction to sneakers, or shampoo, or socks, or something?  Get into the nitty gritty of it and see what you are really spending your pennies on.  Can you part with starbucks for a few weeks?  Maybe cut back on the Artisana coconut butter and macadamia nuts?  Paleo goodies can be pretty costly.  Instead, make your own coconut butter, and eat carrots instead of nuts.  How many gym memberships do you have?  How many are you using?  Do you have junk from the holidays that needs to be returned?  Do you have a freezer full of frozen meat and veggies you can eat up to same some $$$ at the grocery store?  Stay in for a few nights instead of eating out if you can.  Go to the library and stock up on some good books and DVD's and you'll be set.  Finally, take advantage of free trial offers and new client specials.  
• Lastly- and this one has nothing tangible to it, but lets play opposites.  Often we get so accustomed to our usual, basic reaction to things.  So turn your reaction on its head.  I catch myself often thinking to myself, "why didn't so and so do this differently?  Why did he/she do it that way?  That makes no sense/is mean/hurtful/crappy.  While this is a natural tendency, it's also not very productive or proactive.  How can I help get the desired outcome in this situation?  What if instead of automatically getting upset about this situation, I think about it from the opposite perspective?  Maybe that won't be right either, but at least it's different, and it's retraining my brain to have a different default.  Something bothering you?  Someone bothering you?  What can I do to help that person NOT bother me?  How can I proactively change what's bothering me?  And if I can't change what's bothering me, how can I attempt to change how I feel about what's going on?  I might not always like what's going on in my life, sometimes you have to just get through things, but I certainly can try to change my perspective, and think about things in a more positive way.  Is there something eating away at you everyday?  What is it?  What about it is TRULY bothering you?  What is hurting you?  Why is it hurting you?  What advice would you give a friend that was going through what you are going through?  Can you think about it objectively and try to remove yourself from the situation?  Can you be unbiased and think logically about the best way to deal with it?  We get so wrapped up in our own problems and obstacles, we often forget that that's all they really are.  Obstacles and problems.  They aren't our whole life, they aren't our whole day.  They are small parts of our day.  We can't let them take over every waking moment.  

So go workout, preferably during the daytime hours, maybe somewhere you've never been, a new box, gym, or studio, try a new form of exercise, buy a fun pink sparkly headband (or make one if you're doing #nospend) or start thinking in opposites.  Try it for 2 weeks and see how you feel!

That's enough of that.  Let's make some Paleo Thai Crab Salad already.

1 head of napa cabbage

1 orange bell pepper

1 cup of sliced grape tomatoes

1/2 cup of cashew pieces

1 avocado

3 sliced green onions

2 cans crab meat

1 cup snow peas

Dressing:

1/2 cup light coconut milk

2 tbsp gf/wheat free tamari or coconut aminos

juice of one lime

6 drops alcohol free liquid stevia

Chop all your veggies and toss in a large salad bowl and serve in your salad bowl.  Top with cashew pieces and crab meat, and drizzle your dressing over the top.  Hard to stay in a funk with such a fun, flavorful, and bright salad like this!

Here is my #selfie of the day.  Why am I posting selfies?  Because they're fun, because they make going to work a little less mundane, and they get me excited about coming up with new outfits to wear. And they make me smile.  So why the hell not?  

Love you GFGs!

Paleo Cauliflower French Fries, or Cauli with Nooch

Do you desperately miss the taste of a crispy french fry?  If so, you are IN LUCK today peeps.  These cauli fries are in-cred-ible.  They have an amazing french fry flavor, are super easy to make, and are baked, not fried, so no messy grease spatter all over the kitchen.  And they are super nutritious to boot, made with nutritional yeast.  Don't have any?  Get some.  It's inexpensive, and packed with vitamins and tons of protein.  It's not like regular yeast, and it imparts a savory, almost parmesan-ish flavor.  In this recipe, it just tastes deep and salty like a good ol' french fry should.  

Cauliflower French Fries, or Cauli with Nooch

 1 head of cauliflower, cut into florets
couple tablespoons EVOO
1 tbsp garlic powder
kosher salt, to taste
2 1/2 tbsp nutritional yeast

Put your cauli florets into a very large mixing bowl.  Preheat your oven to 400.  Toss your cauli with EVOO, start with 2 tbsp and see if that's enough, and then add in your garlic powder, about 1/2 tbsp of kosher salt, and your nooch.  Combine well and taste.  Adjust seasonings accordingly.  You may want them saltier, more garlicy, and more noochy.  This makes a nice coating on the cauli and after baking for about 40 minutes the fries will be crunchy and have an almost breaded texture to them.

Seriously, double this recipe.  You will want to eat the entire thing all by yourself.  No joke!

These make a great side dish to any meal.  I baked mine off at the same time as some noochy chicken thighs.  Easy and no muss no fuss.

What else is going on?  Not a whole lot.  I am doing a two-week trial at Pure Barre right now, which I first learned about earlier this year on our Aspen trip.  It's similar to Bar Method, but a little less stuffy.  Not as "formal" if you catch my drift.  I'm liking it, though not as much as my beloved Fusion.  You don't really sweat much, though it is hard as f*ck, and I often feel like I need to go home and hop on the treadmill afterwards.  But I'll keep at it until the two weeks are up and make my decision then!

In other food news, have you ever made shakshuka?  It's an israeli dish that basically is just eggs baked in spicy tomato sauce.  Easy and yummy, especially if you can get your hands on some clean arrabiata sauce.  You simmer your sauce until it's warmed through, drop in your eggs, and bake at 425 for 10 minutes.  Easy!

I'm thinking of making my thai chicken soup again, but this time with shrimp.  And snow peas. Sounds good eh?

Alrighty folks.  I'll leave with you some goofy selfies from this week.  I am enjoying super bright nail polish and clashing weird outfits lately.  Anything to spice up cold and dreary January right? XoXoGFG

SUPER EASY recipe for Paleo Slow Cooker Pulled Pork

Oy vey.  This week has been a little rough.  I got seriously worked this week!  Me, along with the rest of the country it seems, is plagued in a major way with either a cold, a virus, or some god-forsaken horrible strain of the flu.  Thankfully I only got a cold, but yikes getting sick is no fun is it?  So pardon me for not posting this week.

However, this post is a revelation.  Pulled pork in the slow cooker?  We've all seen and heard about it.  But really, can it be just as good as the pulled pork from the barbecue joint?  How could it be?  Without a smoker, rotisserie, or hours and hours spent marinating in a secret rub.  But it's true.  You can make incredible pulled pork in your slow cooker or crock pot.  It will be delicious, it won't take you ages to prep, it doesn't cost a fortune, you don't need any sophisticated gadgets, and you'll get quite a bit of delicious broth out of it too.  Still a skeptic?  Look at this pic of gorgeous, glorious, dark, shredded porky goodness.

Now do you believe me?  No?  Well, pork shoulder, or pork butt, is super cheap.  So try it anyways.

Paleo Slow Cooker Pulled Pork, Easy and Delicious! (serves 2-4)
2 1/2 lb pork shoulder or pork butt
1 yellow onion, sliced
enough veg of choice to cover bottom of your pot, carrots, brussel sprouts, peppers, etc (just keep in mind they will cook for quite awhile and become quite mushy)
Garlic Powder
Kosher salt

Toss your sliced onions and vegetables into the bottom of your slow cooker.  Trim excess fat from your roast (trust me, there is enough fat as it is, you won't miss it) and then cover with generous amounts of garlic powder and kosher salt.  You want the roast to be thoroughly covered.  I purposely did NOT marinate the roast because I wanted to see if it would be good without it.  It was.  Feel free to skip that extra step too!  Place the roast on top of your sliced onions and veggies, and turn your slow cooker on to high.  Let your roast cook for about 5-6 hours on high.  At this point, carefully pour off all the stock (it will probably be about 1/4 to 1/2 way full of juice) and put it in the fridge so you can skim the fat off later.  I think this step is crucial to creating a nice crunchy outer layer on the roast.  It will be super moist even so, so don't worry about it drying out.  Put the pot back in the slow cooker and set it to low for another 5 hours.  When it's finished, remove all the veggies and use forks to shred the pork.  It will be falling apart at this point.  I ate mine sprinkled with a bit of sea salt, but if you have some paleo bbq sauce, go for it!  It is sooooo freaking good peeps.  And you've got your veg and protein all in one pot, no extra work required!  Can't complain about that!?

Most recipes I saw for pulled pork called for roasts about twice the size.  As it is, this amount could have fed 4 people, or three very hungry people.  But if you want to use a larger roast for lots of delish leftovers, you will need to cook it longer.  About 14-16 hours total.

I know changing the temperature halfway through might be a pain.  But IMO it really helps get a nice sear on the outside.  It probably would not matter much if you cooked it on low the entire time, but again, you'll need to increase the cooking time by about two hours or so if you're going this route.  Who cares though?  It's in the slow cooker.

Many of the recipes I found took the extra time and care to stuff garlic cloves into little slits in the meat. Again, not necessary.  Get some good quality garlic powder and coat it liberally and you're good to go.

Need a good paleo bbq sauce recipe?  Here you go!

In non-pork, non-illness related news, S hit a major milestone this week, all by herself and without me even in sight!  She used the potty at preschool!  This came totally out of left field.  We have been working on going potty for months and she sits on it all the time but has never used it.  Not only did she use the potty, but she specifically asked the teacher to take her to the potty first.  Unreal.  Of course, the event has not been replicated, but I am overjoyed and full of pride nevertheless.  I wish I had been there to see it.  Does that sound idiotic?  I'm sure any mom reading this would share my excitement!

Lastly, after falling off the bandwagon last week pretty badly with off-limits food choices, I am finally now, a week later, feeling back to normal in terms of digestion.  Cutting out sugars/sweeteners has really helped.  Yup, it seems being on some kind of permanent detox is what works best for me.  I wonder if I will ever be able to have fruit or treats again.  sigh.  I guess in the grand scheme of things there really is no comparison between feeling your best and eating a little sugar.  

I'll bet a bunch of you are doing detox/diet clean ups right now too.  How's it going?  Any tips or recipes to share?

XoXoGFG

Family New Years Celebration + Very Vanilla (Squash) Cupcakes, Grain-Free, Sugar-Free, Gluten-Free

Our family New Years celebration was a hit!  I decided to use my china and make the table look pretty for once.  I have not one but three sets of china.  Crazy.  And none of them are from my wedding!  I was just lucky to inherit quite a lot of china.  I also have four sets of dessert place settings.  Cray cray.  I loooove  dishes though so I am not complaining!  Here is my "tablescape" if you will:

Steamed lobster tails couldn't be easier.  To prepare that is.  I put 4 tails in my steamer and covered them for exactly 7 minutes.  They were perfectly cooked.  Pain in arse to get out of their shells though.  Geez.  Worth it though!  They were delish.  With steamed cauli doused with  sea salt and truffle oil and a simple herb salad, dinner was done in relatively short order.  Dessert for MKG and S were Very Vanilla Cupcakes, grain/gluten/sugar free and made with an entire can of pumpkin puree for good measure and extra vitamin A.

Very Vanilla (Squash) Cupcakes- Free of grains, gluten, and sugar
1/2 cup coconut flour
1/2 cup almond flour
1 tsp baking soda
pinch of salt
2 eggs
1 15 oz can pumpkin puree
1 cup milk of choice, coconut, almond, etc
1 tbsp vanilla extract
5 droppers SweetLeaf English Toffee Liquid Stevia

Whisk your dry ingredients together well, breaking up any clumps.  Combine your wet ingredients in a separate bowl, and then add wet to dry.  This will be a very wet batter and may take a bit longer than usual to cook.  However, as you can see, it is super clean and super healthy.  Feel free to eat these for breakfast!  Bake at 350 in paper lined muffin tin until the tops are golden brown.  The frosting is simply coconut cream whipped with a few drops of stevia and some cinnamon.  Easy peasy folks!  This made 12 cupcakes.  I left a few unfrosted for S's breakfast.  Although who could argue with eating one of these cupcakes for breakfast! I mean really!

Once again, happy 2013!!  Here's to a lobster and cupcake filled year for us all!
XoXoGFG

Whole30 Week 3 Eats/Update

I am going to be totally 100% honest here.  How am I doing on the Whole30?  Good and bad, in equal parts.  Here is the good:

-I have finally broken free of my desire for sweetened coffee!  This is huge, probably the biggest thing for me.  I don't care to sweeten my daily cup o' joe anymore and I am truly ecstatic over this.  Some cinnamon and cream and I am good to go.
-I am totally dunzo with peanuts and beans, and don't miss them in the least.  They make me uncomfortable and give me crazy nausea.  Good riddance.
-I'm fine with drinking water, tea, or decaf coffee, whereas I used to crave  diet drinks.
-I do not miss treats, cookies, etc at all.
-I do not miss cheese at all, goodbye cheese.  (I do continue to use cream and butter though.)
-Starch is a big problem for me, intestinally.  Anytime I ingest any amount of starch I pay for it big time.  I have felt much better eliminating starches from my diet.

The Bad:
-8 weeks of absolutely nothing sweet at all has been rough.  It was fine the first 6 weeks or so, but now I am just dying for a little dried fruit.  That's all I want!  No cookies or treats, just some dried fruit as a snack.  I have had some here and there and then felt really guilty.  I have been able to stop myself, but a few times I have soooo wanted to go to town on something and just barely been able to walk away.
-I am tired of snacking on nuts and I overindulge and then feel gross.  It is annoying to only be able to snack on protein and nuts.  I keep lots of veggies in the house but they need some sort of preparation/thawing and that is not really what a snack is, essentially.  Snacks are my downfall!
-I have not done as good a job as I hoped I would.  Taking bites and tastes of things I shouldn't.  However, I have been 100% faithful to the no peanuts and no beans.
-My blood sugars have been a little wacko, I can't pinpoint why exactly.  I feel like things I used to ingest without issue are now giving me a lot of trouble.  I'll have to continue to monitor this.  I have not been using any sweeteners of any kind, so I know it's not that.  It could just be my diabetes progressing, who knows.
-My tummy has actually been kind of bothering me.  No discernible pattern to it, it could be anything, I could have a bug, not be drinking enough water, I don't know.  I'm not sure why, but I felt amazing during my sweetener detox, and then now that I am doing Whole30 I've had some problems.  It very well could be that I was super strict on my detox but once I got into Whole30 mode I relaxed a little, and that's whats bothering me.  I am going to try to be way more compliant and see if that helps.

All in all, I'm still pretty happy with where I am.  No sweetener in my coffee is great, and I think I've broken my treat-addiction, which is thrilling, for serious.  I'm not sure there is a way I'll be able to incorporate any amount of fruit back into my diet without some major blood sugar issues, but I'll try, once Whole30 is over.  I am also stoked to have successfully rid my diet of cheese, beans, and peanuts.  That is major improvement for me.

Annnnyyyways folks, lets talk Whole30 eats shall we?  This week is an interesting one!  I whipped up some cod with an onion curry sauce on Monday, and some crazy good spiced carrots.  These carrots will change what you think of carrots forever.  Make them ASAP!  Here is the recipe.   The cod was super simple.  Saute some onions until browned, sprinkle about 2 tsp of curry powder over, pour in two tbsp of broth, reduce, and pour over sauteed cod (which I also sprinkled liberally with curry powder).  Takes maybe 20 min. tops.

We are also going to have some Nom Nom Paleo inspired bacon-avocado sammies with a fried-egg topped salad, and tomorrow I am super pumped to make some slow cooker ribs with my own Paleo Barbecue Sauce recipe.  The sauce is simmering on the stove right now and smells awesome.  With the ribs I'm going to make a quick side dish of sauteed cabbage and 'shrooms.

And that's about it folks.  I am thrilled to officially be on vacation through 1/3!  I'll be in Chicago with family for a wedding for about a week, so I'm not sure how much cooking I'll be doing, but hopefully I'll have some fun posts and positive Whole30 updates for you.  I also need to do a Justus Drugstore restaurant review, an amazing locovore farm-to-table nose-to-tail joint located in bumblef*ck Smithville, MO.  Truly an incredible meal.  I'll do a recap when I have a bit more time.

Lastly- some stupid fun pics.  What do you think- have I gone off the deep end?